NaNoWriMo ends, and the real work begins.
I did it. Can you believe it? After however many days during which I was sick, or exhausted, or just too fragile to delve into the subject matter that makes up “Locked & Cranked,” I actually did it. I broke the 50K mark this morning, and while I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some degree of relief, the truth is that I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near “done.”
And you know what? That’s a good thing.
I had a few people express some pretty major doubts about me taking this story on so soon after losing Martin, and a big part of me was nodding right along with them. But the rest of me knew that, if I left it any longer, it would never happen. One very dear friend gave me the words I needed to hear on a day when I felt like throwing in the towel; I will never forget how she put it.
Take a deep breath. The book needs to be born now, love, and that’s going to hurt you. Nothing gets born without hurting its mother. But you’ll get through it, and it will be worth it.
She was right. As much as I cried after reading her note to me, I knew she was right. And here I am, on November 30th, able to say that I stuck with it and, I hope, gave myself a good jumping-off point to write this book the way it was meant to be written.
(To read any of what I’ve posted, just browse the “Locked & Cranked” links in the right-hand list, or click on the “Locked & Cranked” tag. And remember that it’s all first draft stuff, and not even in chronological order, before you write me off forever!)
As you all probably know by now, one of the things I put in place so as not to allow myself to falter was the promise of raising money for charity in Martin’s name, once I’d officially “won” NaNo. Initially I’d named only one charity, one that seemed fitting in his memory…but I’d like to add a second option, for anyone who’s interested in donating. The first, of course, is for Suicide Prevention. The second was Martin’s favourite charity, one for which he worked tirelessly every year: the Ride To Conquer Cancer for Princess Margaret Hospital. Right after he passed, countless friends and fans raised the money he himself would have brought to the table, had things gone differently. As a result, the Hospital has a page dedicated to him now.
They’ve titled it, “Martin Streek – What an extraordinary legacy to leave behind.” Yes, indeed. I’m forever grateful that I donated while he was still with us. And I beg of you, please read that page written about him. It’s beautiful.
So, my friends, you may feel a stronger tie to one charity than the other, or maybe, if you were planning to donate $10 in his memory, you’ll want to send $5 to each. It’s all up to you – whether you donate, and where, and how much – while I’m simply acting as a conduit for all of this. It’s my hope that, if everyone is able to go through me, I’ll be able to collect any “In Memory Of…” or “Tribute” cards and have them sent to Martin’s family. This Christmas will be hard for them. I imagine it has to help for them to know how many of us still think about their son and brother every day.
You are, certainly, welcome to donate privately to either cause. But if you’d like to be counted among those whose well-wishes I’ll be extending to the Streek family, there are ways to do that, too.
1) If you have a PayPal account, you can transfer your donation to me (with instructions as far as which charity you’d like which amount to go to, and what name you’d like to appear on the card), and I’ll send it along on your behalf. You can use this button; it’s very simple and safe. Just don’t forget to leave me info, such as your name, when you donate!
2) If you’d like to make a donation on your own, and would like to have a tribute card sent but don’t have an address for Martin’s family, you’re welcome to contact me for my mailing address (via email, comments left here, Facebook, phone…whatever works!), and you can have the cards mailed to me so I can deliver them. The links for both charities are as follows, if you’d like the option of having a tribute card sent:
3) If you’d prefer to handle the donation end of things entirely on your own, but would still like me to write your name down in the card I’ll be sending to the Streeks (assuming that’s okay with them; they are obviously the most important consideration here), contact me via email to let me know where your donation went, and I will add your name and your wishes for the family to the note they’ll receive from me.
Thank you so very much to everyone who offered words of kindness and encouragement throughout the last several months. Without you, not one of those 50,000 words would exist today. I couldn’t have done this alone. Now it’s time for me to keep at it and turn this into the book Martin wanted to read. And while we’re at it, if we can give a little to a cause that would matter to him…that would be nice, too.
Locked & Cranked: a (p)review and an explanation.
I’d attempted to finish this book before within the constraints of NaNoWriMo. Twice before, actually. Both times, I had the unwavering support of the man who inspired one central character: Martin Streek.
This year, I won’t have my muse within reach. He left us on July 6th, 2009, and I’m left wondering if I stand a chance at finishing this book at all.
What I’d like, more than anything, is to have something by November 30th that I can give to Martin’s mother and brothers. They know I’ve been working on the project off and on for a couple of years, and I need to switch gears somehow, to use them as my motivation, even without having Martin’s encouragement, or being able to hear that devilish laugh whenever I would address him by his alter ego’s name.
For now, as I gear up and hope against hope that I can still write anything, I’m posting the very brief “prologue”-esque part of what was to be “Locked & Cranked v1.0”; other excerpts may follow, if you guys think they’re worth reading. The tone of “L&C v2.0” will be the same, but the plot twists will have to change, because without Martin here… Well. It will all make sense, if I can pull it off.
Let me know what you think, and if it’s a work worth pursuing. I know Martin thought so. But can I do his family proud?
—–
- Locked & Cranked v1.0 (started in 2006)
It didn’t take much. One email, really, and Ivy went head over heels down the rabbit hole. One single email consisting of one single line. Sort of says something about the strength of her convictions to begin with, doesn’t it?
She started out as average in pretty much every way. Average height, average weight, average life. Maybe you could buy the story her fourth-grade teachers sold about her bordering-on-genius IQ, but after you’ve read all of this, you might not be so sure.
She was 21. Sort of pretty, in an unconventional way. Lots of friends, a few boyfriends here and there. Lousy grades in college, typical of a perfectionist who didn’t want to try anything if there was any chance it might come off as half-assed.
So far, you’re bored. You’re asking yourself why on earth you’d ever want to read more about this girl who was anything but a statistical anomaly.
Well, I’ll tell you why.
That average girl with a decent brain and a normal social life? You’re about to watch her fall apart. And not through some tragic twists of fate that never gave her a fighting chance. Everything that happened to Ivy was her own damned fault.
We all know this.
And ten years later, when the cake with 31 candles is brought into her windowless room by an orderly and the night nurse we all call Flo, I don’t like Ivy any more than you will once we’re through here.
Trust me.
—–
The note Martin scrawled in the back of my NaNo L&C notebook.
There is a great desire on my part to make this year’s NaNo about more than just 50,000 fictional words. I’m opening up the opportunity, for anyone who’d like to take it, to pledge money toward my 50K word goal. The funds will go directly to Suicide Prevention via CanadaHelps.Org, and I have no doubt that the promise of money to such a cause will spur me on that much more and will make me finish this book once and for all. A dollar here, a dollar there – it adds up. So, for me, and for Martin (and his family), if you’d like to add that incentive and pledge a donation of any size in his name (payable only once I deliver the goods, of course), please do let me know. Comment here, message me privately, just give me the heads up (I won’t otherwise know). On November 30th I can then present a working manuscript and donations to Martin’s family, in his name.
That, I know, would make everyone proud.
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My profile: https://prettyh.wordpress.com/tag/nanowrimo/
My writing: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/108054
The participants’/Buddy thread on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=120164439843&topic=13185
Main page/info: http://www.facebook.com/Heather.V.Swanson
The charity: http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/go.aspx?tabid=5
My muse: http://www.martinstreek.com
Heather V. Swanson 